Regarding the topic of resolving interpersonal conflict, I
recall one of my friends encountered this incident one year back.
Back then, we a group of friends all attended one particular module. There was
one day at the lecture; someone found the results of one test came out. My
friend A did not own a smart phone at that time, but he wanted to check the
result. Then, he borrowed the phone from another friend B to check the result,
which was sent through email. After checking the results, surprisingly, A found
the marks was added wrongly which should be 2 points less. Then A told B about
it and A did not take it seriously because it is a minor error. At last, A
forgot to log out the email account and returned the phone to B.
Next day, A received an email from his tutor that thanked A
to be honest and the marks had been corrected. A was so confused because he did
not send any email to tutor the day back. He also saw the original email, which
the tutor replied and was sent by using his account. He was so sure he did not
log in to email account after checking the result on B’s phone. After a while,
A received a SMS from B, which roughly said “ the tutor asked me to inform you
to check the email now. The marks has been corrected.” Then, A realized that it
must be that B sent the email to the tutor the day back when A returned the
phone to him.
I may not try to guess what B was thinking. But obviously
after that, A and me really have a bad impression on B and try to stay away
from him.
This situation can be solved if B has good communication
skills. So if you were B, how would you do to convince A to correct the marks?
I think it is not polite of B to send such an email via A’s account without A’s permission, especially if A and B are not very close friends. What’s more, email box is a really private space. A may doubt whether B has read the previous emails or not. So… I think B should have asked for permission from A. Since your question is how I would do to convince A to correct the marks, maybe I should focus my reply on that. If I were B, I would say: “Correct it or not is up to you. But perhaps the teacher will be glad if you show your honest and selflessness. ” Hum… I really want to discuss with you that do you think it is a necessity to persuade your classmate to correct the mark? I consider it a really personal thing.
回复删除From Linna
此评论已被作者删除。
回复删除Hi Xu Dong,
回复删除thanks for sharing this incident.
Firstly I would like to comment that if I were in A's shoes, I would be really angry that my email account was used without my permission. Even if I did not log out, B should know that an email account should be consider a private space and B should not have interfered with it. After all, its actually an incident with A and the tutor.
B should learn some EQ haha.
If I'm B, firstly I would try to persuade A that not telling the tutor about this mistake would actually be morally wrong. I will empathize with A, because if I were to get an additional 2 marks by mistake and if it makes a difference between an A grade and B grade of course I will not want to tell the tutor about it.
However that being said I will wait until the lecture over for A to have better emotional stability before I bring up that issue. Perhaps getting him to weight the consequence of not telling and if the tutor finds out Versus telling and the teacher will have a good impression of you? Also by incorporating some humor may be a good idea to keep the conversation from sounding like a lecture.
I agree with Linna that this change of marks is actually a very personal thing. If one were to persuade your friend to change, it will seem as though you do not want them to do well.
So i guess, ultimately if I were B I will not force A to tell the tutor as it will be up to him. I will just inform and try to persuade only.
-Evelyn